The princess and the pea


Once upon a time, in a queendom far away, there was a prince whose mother repeatedly insisted that he should marry.

The young prince was handsome and intelligent but despite that he had reached his thirties without finding a princess to marry. The problem was that the old queen was very strict with the choice of the future princess and she was not willing to marry her son to any princess. She wanted him to marry a real princess. The queen, mother of the prince, always looked at the vulva of her son’s fiancées to decide if that vulva was royalty and, therefore, the girl was a real princess.

-“You are thirty years old, my son. Thirty! What are you waiting for to get married?” The queen asked to her son.

-“I never find the right candidate, dear mother, you are the one who rejects all the princesses that I present to you once you have seen their vulvas.” The prince answered.

-“Oh son, when will you understand? Your mother wishes only the best for you. You must marry a real princess, I do not want impostors in my queendom, that is why I look at the vulvas of all your fiancees because I know from the vulva if they are real princesses.” The queen said.

The queen sent her son to travel the seven queendoms in search of the perfect princess, but each time he returned home with a candidate the queen found a reason to reject her by looking at her vulva: too fleshy, too elongated, too hairy, too bald, too wet, too dry and so on. The prince was convinced that he would never find the perfect candidate for his mother, the queen.

One night a terrible storm broke out and unexpectedly and in the middle of the storm there was a knock on the palace door. She was a very beautiful young woman full of mud and wet that despite her appearance claimed to be a real princess.

The queen did not believe her and, seeing how her son was fond of the young woman and seeing how her son and the newcomer began to feel affection for each other, asked the girl to see her vulva, the newcomer lady delightedly showed it to her. The queen was surprised and fascinated as it certainly looked like a royal vulva, so she agreed to let her stay and without telling the girl she was going to test her: the queen placed a tiny pea under dozens of mattresses on the bed where the newcomer girl was supposed to sleep on.

-“I’m sure he doesn’t even know, nor she will notice it.” The queen thought.

The next morning the prince and queen waited for the girl to wake up.

-“Good morning princess!” The queen said in a mocking tone.

-“Good morning my queen! I hope you slept better than me.” The girl said.

-“Oh my, have you slept badly?” The queen asked.

-“It was horrible. There was something hard as stone on my mattress that kept bothering me.” The girl said.

Upon hearing her answer they knew that the young woman was not lying, since only a real princess could be sensitive enough to notice the pea under all the mattresses.

The queen took the pea out from under the mattresses and showed it to the princess.

-“I made you this test to verify that you were a real princess, since only a blue-blooded maiden can notice such a small pea under so many mattresses.” The queen said, and added:

-“The pea is yours and you must use it in the marriage ceremony. You can marry my son and become the future queen. During the ceremony we will have to perform the pea ritual.” The queen said handing the pea to the princess.

-“How is that ritual?” The princess asked curious and excited to know that she could marry the prince.

-“Our royal family performs the pea ritual every time we celebrate a marriage. That pea, my dear princess, represents two things: royalty on the one hand and feminine pleasure on the other. If you look at that pea, round and small, it symbolizes the clitoris, which reigns over the vulva as it is the most pleasant and sensitive point of our female genitals and it is located above the vagina, the urinary meatus and the labia minora. The ceremony is simple: during all the wedding celebration you will wear that pea inside your panties, so that it will caress your vaginal lips during the dance and the entire celebration. At the end of the party my son, me and you will be alone to perform the pea ritual: you will simply take off your panties, you will give them to me and I will take the pea with my fingers to put it in my son’s mouth so that he swallowed it while I am saying a few words as his mother I am. It is a ceremony that passes from generation to generation dear, I still remember when I got married the moment when I gave my panties to the queen of that time, the mother of my husband and she put the pea in the mouth of the current king. Do you remember darling?” The queen asked to her husband, the king.

-“Of course darling, I can’t forget such a special moment, the thrill of swallowing the pea that had been stroking your genitals during all the dance and the party.” The king answered.

-“When the prince, my son, swallows the pea he will surrender his whole body and his will to please you, he will treat you like a queen and will focus all his efforts and thoughts on your needs and your pleasure above his own. That is why I have been so demanding when choosing a wife for my son, in the same way you will be with yours in a few years time and, of course, I hope that you also repeat the pea test and respect the pea ceremony too.” The queen said.

-“Without hesitation, dear queen, it is a beautiful ceremony that symbolizes the precise balance of the queendom: men obeying women and worshiping their vulvas as sacred symbols that they are.” The princess answered.


The prince and the young woman got married and the queen was happy because she finally knew that she had found a real princess for her son.

After the wedding the princess and her mother-in-law, the queen, used to look at each other’s vulva together with their royal mirrors while laughing. Years passed and the princess became queen and had children, and the queen mother understood that all vulvas are sacred and all deserve to be appreciated and revered as if they were royal vulvas.

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