Our biologist sisters have traveled to the Democratic Republic of the Congo to study the social behavior of “The bonobos” the famous species of primates that are organized in a social structure based on matriarchy just like us.

Next we inform you of the work carried out and the conclusions they have reached. We have already advanced that our sisters have been pleasantly surprised by the discoveries made after weeks of research on the ground.

Geographical distribution

The bonobo spread over an area of 500,000 km² south of the “Congo River” in Central Africa.

Their closest relatives, the chimpanzees, much more violent and aggressive than the bonobos, inhabit the north bank of this river and organize themselves according to patriarchal rules.

Social structure

Bonobos are organized through matriarchal groups in which females live with their respective young, forming closed herds in a specific territory. The males, in groups, go looking for food to, without eating it, deliver it to the closed group of females and young.

Once the herd of females has the “pantry” full, they let the young feed first and then eat themselves until they are satiated and save the remains of the food that they can no longer digest because they are completely satiated.

Sexual behavior and feeding

Once their stomachs have been filled and their hunger has subsided, bonobo females also satiate their sexual appetite by caressing and loving each other.

After loving each other, they rest for a while, take a kind of nap to regain strength, and when they become active again, they emit guttural warning calls to the groups of males so that they come to eat the leftovers that they, and their young, have left.

That is when they are visited by groups of males from OTHER matriarchies which try to access that food. Their own group of males, the one that brought them food in the morning, disappears in search of other matriarchal groups to feed on.

But to access that food, the females demand sexual favors from these foreign males: specifically oral sex, that is, cunnilingus. Once they pass the oral sex test, those who pass it go on to eat and, after eating, the females that are in heat copulate coldly and automatically, in some way one could say that they “take” the sperm, they milk them.

Most of the time, not all the males in the group pass the oral sex test and, therefore, some remain outside the circle watching as their more skilled companions with cunnilingus eat the remains that the females left behind. Of course they will try again in other female groups and, if they do not succeed in any matriarchal group, they won’t eat, in this way they will perform a better cunnilingus next time.


The behavior of bonobos in terms of food hierarchy can be summarized as follows: the first to eat are the pups (youngs), then the females eat so that (after they bond affectively with each other) they finally eat the males who previously demonstrate their ability with oral sex or cunnilingus.

As the males always eat the leftovers left by the females and their young, females are always satisfied and males are hungry all the time, so the next day it is the males who go out looking for food again. But, as we have said: The curious thing is that, even when they are hungry, they never eat what they catch or find, but instead obediently take it to the matriarchal nest to leave that food under the authority of the bonobo female monkeys. Our sister researchers are considering the possibility that some hormone present in the vaginal discharge of bonobo females causes an appetite blocking effect in male bonobos to, in this way, control hunger when they are collecting food for their matriarchal nucleus and thus transport it intact to the matriarchal nest.

The male groups search for food for their matriarchy all morning, in the afternoon they look for an external female group so they can eat what they can and be “milked” by the females in hot. At night time the groups of males return to their own matriarchy but males and females sleep separately. The male group always sleeps outside the female nucleus but a short distance from it.

Copulation behavior

This system of relating is perfect, because non-consanguinity is ensured, since the groups of males look for other groups of females where they can eat. Absolute a total control of the females over the males is ensured, a perfect matriarchy. The power and psychological influence of the female is so strong that the males, even those who have not eaten, never eat food outside the matriarchal circle, even if they themselves collect it.


The female youngs remain in the matriarchal group learning the techniques of their mothers and grandmothers. On the other hand, the male pups immediately after acquiring a little skill go out to collect food with the group of adult males.

In this way, bonobo females transmit from generation to generation their skills in controlling and dominating their males and in the practice of female solidarity.

Solidarity among groups of females.

A curious behavior that pleasantly surprised our sisters researchers was the solidarity among the matriarchal groups. When one of those groups received a lot of food from its male group, one of the females would visit the neighboring matriarchies and, if she saw that they had little food, she would bring them, she would share the excess food with them, so that they were more or less equal in food resources.

They also saw how some matriarchal groups adopted some female youngs of other groups to have a generational balance, even lending themselves to male individuals among the female groups as a form of solidarity. It seemed as if the bonobo’s female brain was capable of understanding concepts such as “balance”, “justice” or “solidarity” something that, by all accounts, male bonobos were incapable of understanding.

Territorial scope

Matriarchal groups change their territory once a month or so. In fact, at dawn after each full moon, the group of females, together with their young, leave in search of new territories and the group of males follow them submissively. In this way, periodically, bonobo females change neighbors.

It is surprising that, being animals, females are attracted not by hormones or smell, as in all mammalian species, but by the ability to perform oral sex on their male partners. Cunnilingus is used as a bargaining chip in the trade of surplus food.

Adult female Bonobo resting in the grass.


What can we, women, learn from the behavior of bonobo females?

Our biologist sisters were pleasantly surprised that bonobo females never punished the males, they didn’t need to, they had such a well-organized matriarchal structure that the males submitted to it naturally and never rebelled, so the females didn’t need to use violence, neither physical nor gestural nor attitudinal in their relationships neither between them nor with the males. Which may be due?

We highlight three essential differences among women and bonobo females, among the bonobo and human matriarchy:

a) The bonobo females are always together with each other and with the young, there is a clear separation between females and males. As we have already said, males and females do not sleep together.

b) The bonobo females do not feel threatened by the fact that the males are together and go in groups for food and to satisfy other matriarchal groups with oral sex, since among these matriarchal groups there is seamless solidarity and complicity.

c) On a daily basis, male bonobos understand two basic things:

  1. that the food they find in nature BELONGS to the matriarchal group and, therefore, they transport it to the female nest.
  2. that to access food they must satisfy the females through oral sex.

In 1 the male acts by performing a basic function, since the possibility of ingesting that food, even if he is hungry, is not considered. In 2 the male does understand that he must pay a price to enjoy those food leftovers left by the females.

Perhaps bonobo females teach us that women should be less afraid of letting men consort with each other, for there will come a day when the human male brain accepts its role in life. The key is oral sex, based on practicing it the man will accept his role sooner or later.

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